Samantha Bee calls salacious Trump allegations her 'comedy Christmas'
The details in the intelligence memo on President-elect Donald Trump's ties to Russia may be completely "unsubstantiated and unverified," but that didn't keep Samantha Bee calling the most lurid allegations in the dossier her "comedy Christmas."
"Buzzfeed News says the British intelligence passed to the Americans claims that, during a trip to Russia, Mr. Trump rented a Moscow hotel suite where the Obamas once stayed," Bee explained. "And it claims that he paid prostitutes to urinate on the bed."
"Oh, (expletive). Like we're supposed to believe Trump has started paying people who do work for him?"
"The only verifiable thing about this report is how much joy it gave me," she joked, acknowledging the dossier's dubious origins, before arguing that, when it comes to the president-elect, we shouldn't have to be convinced the reports aren't true.
"There's a high probability this story is (expletive). But the fact that it's plausible (expletive) is a terrifying statement about what our nation has come to," she said.
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Bee also blasted Trump for his press conference Wednesday, where he refused to take a question from CNN in retaliation for the network's investigation of the Trump report, calling them "fake news."
"While it's fun to watch a livid Orange Julius explain that he can't be into water sports because he's a germaphobe, we may have just witnessed what the history books will call the end of America's tradition of a free press," she said.
In the end, she hopes that the other accusations contained in the report, accusing Russia of "cultivating, supporting, and assisting" Trump for "at least five years," gets as much airtime as the sexual allegations (even though her segment certainly focused more on the latter).
"We can only hope the incontinent sex worker frosting draws attention to the report's less delicious details about Russia manipulating our president," she said. "After all, as the old Disney song goes, a spoonful of hooker urine helps the treason claims go down."